The 6 Key Ingredients for a Happy Relationship…that no one talks about!
Very often, you might find yourself dreamily thinking about a fairy-tale romance and the warm, fuzzy feeling it brings with it. Wanting to feel loved, accepted and being able to extend the meaning of the word ‘home’ to a person, is natural. Unfortunately, it is often heard of that a once-happy relationship has now turned sour, and it seems as though there is no way out of it. However, as with most things, there is always a way out of a tough situation. While it is normal for problems to arise, one must learn that it does take effort and willingness to make it out of them. According to our relationship coach, Sarmistha Mitra, are the following points, which are crucial to being in a happier relationship!
1. Know your needs
It is very important for you to be able to understand yourself, and who you are. Introspection is key to understanding what your needs and expectations from a relationship are. Do you sometimes feel like you need more attention? If so, what would qualify for you as receiving this attention? Perhaps in a different scenario, you need some space. How much space is enough space? In what ways do you expect to be given space? Understanding your needs and identifying what role your partner plays in fulfilling these can really simplify your life. Once you understand your needs, the likelihood of you suppressing these is reduced, and there is lesser scope for any pent-up frustration. This, in turn, will make you stop looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Of course, it also important for your significant other to know their needs. If you can’t seem to understand why you are fighting so much, it is time for you and your partner to introspect and for both of you to understand your requirements!
2. Communicate your needs
Okay, so you understand your needs. Now you need to communicate these to your partner. Very often, people suppress what they want to say for fear of hurting, angering or even pushing away their partners. You need to understand that your partner cannot read your mind, just like you cannot read theirs. The only way for them to know and understand what your needs and expectations are is you articulating them. It is also essential that you choose your words appropriately, without cornering or attacking them. For instance, “I try my best to please you but you are never satisfied, I give up!” is a statement bound to lead to an endless battle of words. The same thing, when expressed differently so as to make your partner understand your needs, is far more effective. For example, “You know, when you appreciate my efforts, it really makes me happy. It makes my day, for you mean the world to me!” When you communicate your needs, it is important to ensure that you do so as positively as possible, so as to form a space for growth, encouragement, and happiness in the relationship.
3. Refrain from using threats or subjugation to get what you want
Threats and subjugation nearly always ruin relationships. If your needs are unfulfilled, it is either because you aren’t communicating them well or because your partner isn’t really capable of fulfilling these. Either way, threatening to leave your partner or even harming yourself or them, is never going to lead to anything good. Very often, we resort to implicit threats and it is crucial for a happy relationship that we avoid any kind of threatening or domination to get our way.
4. Don’t assume or presume the worst
It is only fair to the person you are with that you give them some benefit of the doubt unless there is a solid reason not to. Many a time, we come across instances where people jump to the worst conclusion, without even considering everything. Picture this. You always inform your partner if you are going to be home late for dinner. One day, they come home late, and they say they’ve already eaten dinner. Do you smile and ask them about it, or are you convinced they are cheating on you and were with someone else? Assumptions ruin the integrity of the relationship by letting in an enormous amount of mistrust. When you assume they did something terrible to hurt you, you end up resenting them and eventually damaging the relationship.
5. Stay focused on the greater good
It is normal for you to sometimes get so tied up in the daily hassles of life that you forget to look at the big picture. You could have had a tiring day at work, only to come home to find your partner relaxing, while you still have some of your household chores to complete. While it is normal to get irritated, you must remember to think of all the reasons you wish to be with your partner. They make you feel safe, happy and at ease. They’re home when you get back from work, full of love and affection for you, making you feel happy to be part of the relationship. When small issues crop up, it is important to focus on the greater good and resolve these problems without letting it snowball into a bigger conflict.
6. Build your self-esteem
While a relationship can bring you joy and comfort, it is important to spend time building yourself up, too. When you do not focus on your own individualism, you end up losing sight of yourself, leading to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem gives rise to jealousy, possessiveness, and even neediness. A few ways in which you can build your self-esteem are:
- Doing things that add value to your life and to who you are
- Taking pride in the role you have to fulfil, either in terms of daily tasks, or employment
- Celebrating your achievements, no matter how big or small
- Introspecting and understanding what your purpose in life is
- Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses and all the things that make you ‘you’
- Socialising and building your relationships with people other than your significant other
At Illuminations in Dubai, we encourage you to take the first step towards resolving your relationship, through our services on relationship counseling and couples’ therapy in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. We also offer professional courses in NLP Certification Training and Hypnotherapy Training in Dubai that can help you understand how to solve your relationship woes. Take a step towards a happier relationship for yourself and qualify to help others do the same!