Is your Behavior pushing your partner away?
Sometimes, in spite of wanting to be happy and actually being with someone that does make us happy, we subconsciously push them away. For various reasons, a lot of people find it difficult to connect with people emotionally, and some are even so scared of intimacy that they subconsciously wedge a gap between themselves and their partner. Of late, does it feel like your partner is ignoring you, or seeming a little distant? Have you asked them what the matter is, only to be dismissed? Relationship counseling is a great way to understand what the matter is. While there may be a host of reasons associated with this behavior, it is also possible that you may be pushing them away. We asked our resident relationship coach and hypnotherapist, Sarmistha Mitra, what she thinks, and here are a few ways she stated, in which you might be pushing your partner away.
Not communicating what you feel
For your partner to understand what you need and feel, it is important for you to communicate with them. If you say you’re okay when you’re actually not, and resort to passive-aggressive means of showing them that you’re not, it is eventually going to drive them away, because it will become exhausting for them to keep trying to figure out what you are feeling.
Being too distant or too needy
As with everything, balance is key to a happy relationship. If you constantly need reassurance about yourself and/or the relationship, it is bound to become tiring for your partner, and they will feel the need to ‘switch off’ for a while. However, a constant lack of emotional intimacy can also drive one away, for they constantly end up wondering where they stand in your life, making them insecure and pushing them away.
Taking your partner for granted
You can have been in the perfect relationship, with a supportive, loving and accepting partner. However, as time goes on, you may become so used to having this that you forget to put in the kind of effort that you used to. From being encouraging and happy, your partner has changed and seems to complain a lot. They don’t feel appreciated or loved, and when they say so, you don’t understand why. You are probably taking them for granted, and this will make them unhappy, angry and resentful towards you, which will certainly drive them away.
Do you end up using your partner’s past mistakes to hurt them or guilt-trip them into treating you the way you want to be treated? If so, you are going to keep reminding yourself and them of instances in the past that hurt the relationship, and this is only going to hurt the relationship more. Neither of you is going to end up feeling safe and secure, or as though the relationship can really be mended. Making them feel guilty of the past is going to end up making them vulnerable and resentful, without either of you being able to focus on a happier future.
Only focusing on yourself
Do all your conversations with your partner revolve only around you and your needs, without enough time and attention towards their needs? Do you speak of your day in detail and get impatient when they speak about theirs? It is important that you show them the same respect you would like to be shown when they wish to share their needs, problems, thoughts and opinions with you. If you are not concerned about them, they will end up feeling neglected and unwanted in the relationship – thus pushing them away.
Obsessing over them
It is important for you to give your partner and yourself some space. Both of you were individuals before you were in a relationship and it is vital for both of you to be able to retain your individual personalities. If you constantly obsess over them, whether they are physically around or not, you will end up making them feel suffocated. If you end up being too concerned with everything they do, it is time to step back and let them make their own decisions. As long as they are not unwittingly sabotaging the relationship, they should be empowered with the ability to make their own decisions without these decisions having anything to do with you.
How can you solve these patterns of behavior?
Patterns of behavior that may be pushing your partner can be difficult to break. Different forms of therapy have the ability to help you solve these. Hypnotherapy is a powerful method that can help you break free of subconscious thoughts and behavioral patterns that pervade your daily life. Moreover, it can help you identify the root of these patterns so that you can begin to solve them from their cause. Another therapy you can consider is neurolinguistics programming (NLP). NLP aims at helping you understand how your perception of the world makes a difference in the way you view individual situations in your own life. It helps you identify negative thoughts and behaviors that have never before had a positive outcome and then helps you rectify these. You can also undergo relationship counseling, along with your partner to understand what the problem really is.
Dubai hypnosis practice has seen a leap, with more and more people turning towards the idea of being able to focus on your subconscious mind to solve problems. Illuminations are mental health and complete wellness institution that offers hypnotherapy in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. It also offers hypnotherapy courses (Dubai and Abu Dhabi); NLP courses and NLP certification (Dubai and Abu Dhabi); marriage counseling and couples’ therapy (Dubai and Abu Dhabi); and other options of certification training. For more details, you can write to us here!