Disastrous role of Toxicity in Relationships
We are all naturally conditioned from our childhood about the ‘give and take’ element in life especially when it comes to relationships. However, most of us are never taught ‘how much’ of giving is ‘too much’. Almost always we end up sacrificing and giving away at the cost of our own selves in the hope of salvaging the relationship; however, this just leads to further disharmony and breakdown.
The word ‘Toxic’ means poisonous and rightly so. The effects of this are just like poison i.e. slow and silent. They creep in often holding the individual unaware and grasping the individual almost blinding the person of reality. Moreover, a person can experience this not just at the physical level but also at the mental and emotional level. The opposite partner in the relationship often via his/her behavior consciously or unconsciously (via his/her own issues and projection) contributes to making the relationship more turbulent.
Factors Causing Toxicity
There are various external and internal factors we get subjected to that play an important role here. External factors such as:
- Relationship with the primary caretaker
- Role of family
- Childhood experiences
- Interaction with peer members
- Adverse past experiences and situations and more play a massive role.
- Internal factors such as:
- Conditioning the individual is subjected to
- The personality of the individual
- Distorted thoughts
- Limiting beliefs
- Internal disharmonious feelings
What Happens when we Experience Toxicity?
We end up losing our true essence and meaning in life. Most often we adopt the role of one of the following caretakers, mommy, pleaser, critic, victim, etc. It becomes highly difficult to function in a harmonious manner in life. The insight on what is right and wrong is often lost and there is a lack of clarity about the reality. This leads to quicker burnout/exhaustion leading to more stress and harm and more disharmony.
Signs you could be a Victim of a Toxic Relationship
- Acting blind towards the obvious shortcoming’s to ‘survive’ in the relationship
- Barely any scope of truth and transparency in the relationship
- Constant manipulation
- Absence of ‘healthy boundaries’
- Existence of Dysfunctional behavior causing more chaos
- The underlying emotion of sadness, guilt, anxiety, etc in the relationship
- Constant feeling of dissatisfaction that we are not ready to acknowledge
- Addiction not just limited to drinking, smoking, etc
- Major denial of true feelings
- Coming from a space of major hurt, resentment, trauma, etc
Impact of Toxicity
It is vital to understand and work with the toxicity and not just shrug it off as minor glitches in a relationship otherwise it has an impact primarily on the concerned individual and also over other areas of life. It also tends to affect other family members directly/ indirectly involved such as parents of the couple, children, friends, etc.
Inner Child Regression Therapy (ICR) is a highly impactful and effective therapy that targets and identifies the toxicity faced by the person. Insight about the triggering elements and the root cause from where it all started is obtained by the individual. Here versions of the individual stuck in trauma, from the past and frozen in time are catered to and healed bringing back in that lost harmony and clarity.
Benefits of Inner Child Resolution
- Balancing out changes in a sleep cycle, bringing it back to normal
- Problems with food intake are resolved
- Brings positive behavioral changes
- Mood is more stabilised
- Energy levels become more stable
- Better focus and concentration
- More wholesome and speedy progress of the individual
Zinnia H Bharucha
Holistic Psychologist and Relationship Counselor
Zinnia is the Co-owner and manager at Holistic Solutions from 2015 a premier organization that has been training, healing, and providing relief to several individuals, families, businesses, and communities for their overall development and progress in life over three decades. Zinnia believes in the give and gain philosophy and has been actively involved as a member of the Holistic Healing Foundation of India a public charitable trust instituted by her family for the noble purpose of encouraging and supporting people on their quest for physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing and development.