6 Ways To Heal Your Jealousy!
Jealousy is a part and parcel of all of our lives. This mixture of anger, sadness, anxiety, and fear can be one of the most consuming and uncomfortable emotions possible. All of us have succumbed to the green-eyed monster at some point or the other, and it can lead to some unpleasant situations for both us and our loved ones.
Jealousy can occur as a response to many situations. This could include significant other spending time with someone else, or a boss passing on a major project to a colleague. However, at its root, jealousy is a knee jerk response to feeling threatened. We all crave affection and security. The moment we feel like something or someone might pose a threat to us, we feel a rush of negative feelings towards it/them. Although, from an evolutionary point of view this may have been beneficial, acting on our jealous feelings can lead to disastrous consequences in real life.
Did My Childhood Play A Role in My Jealousy?
Our childhood plays an extremely vital part in shaping who we become. A lot of the issues we carry around in adulthood stem from incidents in our childhood. An example of this can be seen in our deep-rooted feelings of jealousy.
Put simply, jealousy occurs when we fear losing someone we value. As babies, the idea of loss was literally life-threatening, because we were dependent on our caregivers for survival. As we grow older, we tend to mimic the attachment style we observed and learned as children. Children who learn an insecure attachment style, characterized by absent parents, low self-esteem, and inconsistent rewards and punishments, carry it forward to adulthood. Then, when they are faced with a situation where they might lose someone, their basic survival instincts kick in and get expressed in the form of jealousy.
How Can I Stop My Feelings of Jealousy?
It is natural to feel jealous every now and then. But when left unchecked it can greatly harm our self-concept and our relationships. But, how can we stop our emotions from taking control of our life? Illuminations Well Being Centre in Dubai has outlined a few steps that can help get your jealousy under control.
1. Talk About It
There is no shame in feeling jealous. Openly discussing your jealous thoughts with a partner or a close friend can help you understand and manage the feelings of jealousy. Being able to honestly voice your thoughts can have a cathartic effect, and this act alone can help reduce the hold they have over you. Confiding in someone else also gives them the opportunity to help you, and reassure you in the manner that you might need.
2. Reduce Stress
Research has shown that jealousy, like any other negative emotions, gets intensified when we are feeling anxious, overwhelmed or tired. The energy and willpower it takes to keep ourselves positive can be hard to summon when there are 100 other things we have to do, Thus, it is important to look after ourselves and our stress levels. Simple things like regular exercise, proper nutrition, and meditation can help improve health and reduce the amount of jealousy we feel.
3. Appreciate Yourself
One of the most common causes of jealousy is low self-esteem. If we don’t believe that we are worth something, it can become easier to accept the misconception that nobody else thinks we are as well. Learning to appreciate oneself isn’t an easy task. But it can be learned through a series of small steps such as complimenting yourself for completing something you have been meaning to, or by spending a day doing things that you like by yourself. Once we learn to appreciate ourselves, it automatically becomes easier to believe that others see us as worthy and lovable individuals.
4. Learn From The Jealousy
‘How you feel about a situation, depends on how you view the situation’
It can be helpful to try and actively monitor the situations in which you feel jealous. If it’s in the company of a certain friend, reflect upon what it is about this person that is causing the jealousy. Maybe he or she has a certain skill or life outlook which you want? Jealousy could be an indicator of hidden desires, that we have been too scared to try. Analyzing these feelings could help you understand what you really want from life.
5. Take a Break from Social Media
It can be hard to imagine a day without scrolling through Facebook, Instagram or even LinkedIn! However, the ease with which we consume social media could be fuelling your jealousy. Such sites are filled with picture perfect snaps of the best of other people’s lives. They are perfectly curated to show how much fun they’re having, how productive they are, or how much they party. All these images can feed your jealousy, and act as a constant reminder of all the things you do not have (as you ignore the thing you do have, to view them!). Taking a small breather from this atmosphere can help you keep a check on your emotions, and can give you a lot more free time as well.
6. Seek Professional Help!
If you feel like you are constantly overpowered by feelings of jealousy, you could consider reaching out for professional help. There are various ways in which a trained therapist can help you work through your emotions in a safe, holistic manner.
Hypnotherapy if one such form of healing, which involves tapping into your subconscious mind. It aims at understanding past pain, patterns or beliefs which could be holding you back from living your life to the fullest in the present.. During the hypnotherapy process, you will be guided into a deep state of relaxation, in which various psychological changes can be achieved. Your hypnotherapist will walk you through each aspect of the healing and will ensure that you are both aware and comfortable with everything that is going to. The goal is to release unwanted habits and patterns from deep within your subconscious, freeing you to enjoy the pleasures of life.
Another healthy way to deal with jealousy is to learn and utilize emotional intelligence (EQ) strategies. These strategies help you become more aware of your emotions, and how to control and express them. Illuminations Well Being Centre conducts workshops which teach strategies such as self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills, which can help you manage your jealousy, as well as other negative emotions.
To learn more about hypnotherapy, EQ training, and more, contact Illuminations Well Being Centre in JLT or Mirdif (Dubai).